To The Girl Who Lost Her Best Friend

This is to the girl who lost her best friend.

Perhaps it was recent. Perhaps it’s been a couple of years. Either way, I am sure it hurts all the same.

Perhaps there was a fight. Perhaps things trickled off over time. 

Perhaps it’s still fresh and the pangs of hurt are constant. Perhaps the anger has faded to sadness.

Perhaps you’ve stopped replaying events over and over in your mind in hopes of pinpointing exactly what happened and what you could have done differently. 

best friend

Perhaps you’re now able to see where you were a bad friend. You’re seeing it more and more. And you feel the twinge of guilt in your stomach when you think about those times. While at the same time, you’re afraid to formally apologize because you don’t want to ruin her peace or yours. 

Perhaps there’s hope of returning to the way you were. Perhaps you know the ship has sailed and you just hold onto the memories. 

Perhaps you feel like you will never have a best friend again, despite so desperately yearning for that type of connection.

So you wait. You wait and wait and wait.

You try to force some stuff, but it doesn’t feel right.

You retreat. You close yourself off.

Then, it happens.

best friend

You open your eyes and see what was there, in front of you, all along. 

Those who never left your side.

Those who checked in on you every day. 

Those who have so carefully handled your heart and soul. Those who you may have even wept to regarding losing the “best friend.” 

You have experienced loss, yes. But what you may gain will be far greater than that loss will ever be. 

Realization of the treasures in your life. 

There will be a twinge of sadness, just like with all failed relationships, that things will never be the same. Because nothing will ever replace that other best friend. 

Gradually, though, you will find the courage and the wisdom to accept and embrace those who have loved you through the seasons. And those you have loved back.

You will realize in your loss that what you have must be cherished even more. 

You will see that you’ve been accepted and loved all along. That those beautiful treasures in your think just as highly of you as you do, of them. 

best friend

I hope in time, you will continue to smile about all of the memories and will accept that while you can’t fix or change the past, you can learn and move forward.

I hope you know that it’s okay to open up, and to be yourself.

Because there is so much to love about yourself. 

You’re fully capable of giving love. 

You’re worthy of love. 

You will get through this.

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Kylie grew up in Capac, a little rural town in the thumb of Michigan. She now resides in Washington Township with her husband, Michael, daughter, Ella, and senior cat, Kiplan. Prior to becoming a mother, Kylie completed a Bachelor of Science in Brain, Behavior, and Cognitive Science/Pre-Health and a Master of Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing Analytics, both at the University of Michigan. Her career is focused on improving the quality of healthcare in the most vulnerable populations of Michigan. The past year has given the opportunity for the most challenging and rewarding role of her life: that of a mother. Kylie is passionate about spending time with her family and friends, endurance cycling and running, going to concerts at small venues, cooking fun and unique dishes with her husband, home improvement projects, playing classical piano, and the color orange. One of the most profound things she’s learned about becoming a mother is to love with all her heart, do the best she can, and try not to worry about the rest.

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